Over the years of my tango journey I’ve stumbled upon a lot of confusing moments, they fall into 2 types: illusion about my technique; and about my relationships with the tangueros.
Tango Illusion (I): My tango technique
3 years ago on my birthday I had a private class with my favorite tango master. I told him, with tears in eyes: “Querio dejar de bailar tango (I want to give up dancing tango).”
He caressed my hair and said with a genuine sadness in my eyes: “¿Por qué tenés esta idea (Why do you have this idea)?”
I explained to him that I wasn’t making progress for a long time, and I don’t see myself becoming a real tanguera.
In the first two years I made progress at breakneck speed. I went to classes several times a week. Every week I took in a lot of new techniques and sequences.
When I was a beginner most tangueros I encountered was more skillful than I, dancing with them and being led into doing complicated sequences gave me an illusion that I had accomplished a lot and I was beyond my level.
After the very first two years my progress flatten out, and I kept hearing my teacher pointing out the same repeating mistakes, some bad habits that were so embedded in my technique. I was very frustrated and felt stuck at the bottleneck.
And it was so easy to see a top dancer’s video everywhere: Youtube, Facebook, Instagram, even I didn’t actively search for them, it’d pop up on my Facebook page now and then.Watching the top-notch dancers and comparing them to myself was another confidence killer.
My tango master said: “You need to put things in context.”
How I learned to deal with the frustration with my technique is to remind myself it’s good to go steady and slow, that I’m not burning my passion for tango in one strong flame. It’s also good to take videos periodically for a more objective comparison. I must be able to spot differences between the level now and a year ago. Comparing myself from now and where I was always give me a confidence boost when I’m feeling low.
Tango illusion (II): Relationship with other tangueros
In tango the level of proximity always create confusing feeling.
I had experience of dancing with a tanguero with whom I felt so connected in our embrace; we moved together synchronized; and we seemed to read each other’s mind. It was only after the tanda when we talked, our chemistry vanished into thin air.
In dance we speak by our body movements, which is usually unfiltered and honest. But when we interact in real life, it’s so easy to act with pretense or filter your speech in conversation.
People who are perfect match in tango don’t always end up becoming perfect match in real life too.
Now I’d stick to one rule: what happens in milonga, stays in milonga.
Hope you enjoyed reading this tango essay!
Another tango essay you may like: A choosy lover
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